Hmm...

Our huge win (whomping/spanking/domination) against the Gators this weekend makes me really want to buy this dress...but I guess it's probably a little too soon.  Still sitting at #39. {sigh}

Ahhh, caffeine!

I love my coffee and look forward to it every morning. Brogan knows about 8 words...one of which is coffee. He points to my cup every morning, gets a big smile on his little face and says "coffee!". Love it!

We're finally in the 30s! 39 to be exact. Now I can start obsessing until we get to the 20s. ;)


So, we have our TIVO set to record everything related to Ethiopia.  Recently that included an episode of Modern Marvels...not typically my type of show.  It's a guy's show.  One Steve likes and watches when he's traveling (when he doesn't have to listen to me complain about how boring it is and wouldn't "we" rather watch House Hunters International or Project Runway?).

Anyway, since this one was about two of my favorite subjects...Ethiopia and coffee...I allowed it.  ;)  Did you know coffee was discovered in Ethiopia?  Legend has it a goat herder noticed his goats got very jumpy after eating the "cherry" beans off the trees.  The first human consumption is believed to be by the Oromos tribe in Ethiopia.  They would cook the raw coffee beans in fat, squeeze them into a big ball and just gnaw on it.  During slave trades, the Oromos brought the beans to Yemen...and from there it went around the world.

So now every morning as I'm drinking my coffee, I can't help but think about my daughter.  As I'm sipping and savoring, I take a minute to tune out the 2 adorable screaming boys in the background and say a quick prayer for her and her birth family.

Thanks for reading...and tomorrow morning as you enjoy your cup of coffee, please join me in saying a prayer for our little one and all the other orphans as well.

A Beautiful Walk

So, there was a flurry of referrals earlier in the month and I've been holding off posting in hopes that we'd be in the 30's for this post. (Why does 39 sound so much lower than 40??)  At any rate, we haven't moved much at all the last few weeks and I know you have all been missing my deep insight (humor me) so here we are at number 42.  Not too bad though, I'll take it!

A few weeks ago Steve and I watched an amazing documentary called A Walk to Beautiful.  It follows the journey of 5 Ethiopian woman who suffered horrific childbirth complications that resulted in them being shunned from their villages and forced to lives of shame and loneliness.  When they hear about the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital, they each decide to make the long journey to the capital city in hopes of regaining their dignity.  The story is told through their eyes and with their voices.

While people in the US argue over natural vs. drugs vs. c-section, it's a reality check on how truly blessed we are here.  It's really an interesting and eye opening (and yes, short) film that I'd highly recommend everyone see.  It's on PBS occasionally, but we got it from the library. 

Though the hospital has over a 90% success rate, there are some cases that require long-term care.  These women are invited to live at Desta Mender (Village of Joy), a gorgeous 60-acre farm village at the foot of a mountain.  There they are given not only treatment, but trained in a variety of income producing trades...from nurses aides, to gardening, to sewing, etc.

Recently Desta Mender created Juniper Cafe, an outdoor restaurant, where the women who were trained in cooking/catering serve lunch to convention meetings and visitors.  Some other adoptive parents have said it's an amazing place and we definitely have it on our (growing) list of "must-dos"!

Young Again!

What day is it today?  Funny you should ask, because it so happens that in Ethiopia it's December 19, 2002!  Which would make me 27 again!!  As if I needed another reason to travel to Ethiopia!  (You can stop doing the math in your head, I'm 35.)

Ethiopians follow the Coptic calendar (which is also still used in Egypt) and as a result are about 7 years 8 months behind our Gregorian calendar.  The Coptic calendar has 12 months that are 30 days long and a "13th month" for the extra 5-6 days.  Makes things interesting when conducting business there...and when trying to figure out birthdays for those born during the 13th month!

In other news, we're now at #50!  Chugging right along!!

Date Night!

Well, we've had some movement this week and we're now #56.  Slowly but surely making our way up the list!  I'm sure over the next 12-18 months there won't be much to update besides our current number, but I'm going to try to post something incredibly interesting at least once each month.

It was announced recently that Habesha, one of the local Ethiopian restaurants, is hosting a night for all the adoptive parents at our agency...which, of course, we aren't able to attend. {Boo!} So, we decided to go on our own last night instead (in celebration of making it on the list and for our 7 year anniversary)...and we'll definitely be back!

Outside, you likely wouldn't look twice at the place...it's in a strip mall in the Park Hill area of Colfax, with a lovely tattoo store called Freaky on one side and a Middle Eastern restaurant, complete with belly dancers, on the other.  (Side note: we need to try that place sometime as well.)  Inside, however, feels like you've been transported straight to Ethiopia.  (Well, from what I imagine at least.)  It's a small place and there were only a couple other tables seated while we were there...but they have a dj come in later in the night, so I think it gets busier then.  The waitresses were all super friendly and the owner/chef came to our table a couple times during our meal.  (We made sure to let him know how much we appreciate him hosting the adoptive parents, even though we wouldn't be able to make it that night...)

We both got some Ethiopian beer called Bedele "special" that was really good...smooth with a slight honey aftertaste.  I had hoped to try some Ethiopian wine, but they were out and I wasn't a huge fan of the honey wine they gave me a sample of.  Oh well, I'm sure there will be many more opportunities to try the wines!

For food, we ordered a meat and veggie variety.  It had a chicken, beef, lentils, cabbage, housemade cheese, spinach, etc.  Everything was super yummy...and soon the only thing left on the platter was the cabbage. 

It was our first time trying the bread, injera, since we didn't have any when Steve made sik sik wat at home.  Alone, it's a little too sour tasting, but with the food it's perfect!  We finished the whole basket and dug into some of the platter piece as well.  (We aren't ones to shy away from starch!)

The best part is we were completely stuffed, had 2 beers and the tab was only about $25!  So far Habesha is our favorite Ethiopian restaurant in town...but there's a bunch of them and we're planning to try them all before picking our go-to spot!  So, if any locals are interested in joining us sometime...just let me know!

A BIG step towards little feet!

Today we got the news we've been waiting for...we are officially on the wait list for our baby girl!  Our homestudy was approved by the state and our Dossier is complete since we finally received the letter from our bank! (It's amazing how cooperative they were after threatening to close all our accounts!)

We are officially number 61 on our agency's baby girl list!  Considering the number was in the 20s earlier in the year....that's a really high number!  They are still saying it'll only be a year wait for a referral, but I'm doubtful it'll be that quick...we shall see.  All in God's time though, not mine.

Our agency is growing very quickly, but there are a few things that make the number not quite as high as it seems.  First, most families are on more than one list...for example, you can be on the baby girl list and the toddler girl list and get a referral for either.  Since the toddler list is much shorter, chances are pretty good that's what their referral will be.  So, there won't really need to be 60 baby girl referrals before we get ours!  Also, there was a big election in Ethiopia that put everything on hold for a couple months...no referrals for that long results in a much longer list.  Finally, since our agency is growing, they have recently contracted with 2 more orphanages in Ethiopia...so they are now receiving referrals from 3 different orphanages, which should help the list get a move on.

Anyway, we're soooo excited to be done paper chasing and start watching the numbers tick down!  We pray everyday for our daughter (and for her birth family) and can't wait until she's here with us!

And so we wait...to get on the wait list.

We just got back from a very much needed vacation to beautiful Tennessee (pics on the family blog soon).  We had been hoping that while we were gone everything we're waiting on would come in, but of course no such luck!  So, for those wondering...here's where we stand.

The homestudy has been complete for a few weeks now...but we're waiting on our fingerprint clearances to come back in order for it to be submitted for state approval.

Our dossier is complete (though not been through final agency review) except for the dreaded bank letter.  We received one letter, but they of course added a bunch of unnecessary verbage.  So, we submitted a request for a new letter over 2 weeks ago.  Yup, they are S-L-O-W!  Just hoping they actually use my sample letter this time...I wrote it for a reason people.  ;)

So, once those couple things come in we'll finally be on the waitlist!  I think my previous post is working...because I'm really not stressed at all about waiting.  God knows where we need to be on the list!

That's it...hopefully my next post will reveal our number on the wait list!

Doro What??

So, yesterday being Mother's Day and me having the best husband in the world and all...not only did I get creme brulee french toast for breakfast, an endless supply of hugs and kisses from my 3 favorite guys, and an afternoon alone to do some of the gardening I've been futilely attempting to do in 20 minute increments all week...I also got surprised with a super secret* homemade Ethiopian meal!

The "*" is because Steve is the worst secret keeper in the world (a quality I adore in a husband!) and spilled the beans a couple weeks ago.  I still appreciate the sentiment and the inclusion of our future daughter in my day none-the-less!

So...unless you're a very cultured eater, you might be wondering what exactly is Ethiopian food? 

The national dish of Ethiopia is called wat.  It's a very spicy stew that can be made with a variety of meats, grains or vegetables.  Doro wat is the chicken version and probably the most popular.  The stew is cooked with berbere, a red pepper sauce with a ton of  yummy spices.  You can use more or less berbere, depending on how spicy you want it.  (Or in our case...use a little bit to get a nice medium spice and then serve more on the side for the member(s) of our family that lost all their taste buds to habanero dares in college.)

The best part of eating Ethiopian though, is there are no utensils!  A crepe-like sour bread called injera is used as your "fork".  Since we eat alot of meals like that anyway, it's right up our alley.  ;)  Below is a picture of a lady making traditional injera.

So, back to my wonderful Mother's Day meal!  Steve made Sik Sik Wat (beef) and it was delicious!  We've yet to try one of the many local Ethiopian restaurants here, so I don't know what it's supposed to taste like...but it was so good.  Next time we'll have to use less berbere though so Colby can try some too.  (Don't worry, the recipe will be in our cookbook so you can try some for yourself!)

Don't tell any traditionalists, but we Americanized it and served it over rice.  We also used store-bought Naan for the bread since Steve was out of town and didn't have a chance to get to the International Market or have 4 days to make the Injera from scratch.  He also made a lentil dish that was okay, but we both thought it wasn't quite right. 

I'm so excited now to reach some kind of milestone with our adoption process so we'll have an excuse to go check out the real deal at one of the restaurants!  Then we can sample all the dishes and figure out which ones we want to start making at home.  There's also a place here that does cooking lessons, which I think would be so fun!

The one thing we learned is that Ethiopian cooking requires LOTS of dishes!  You know I would have loved to have helped out...but it was Mother's Day afterall.  ;)

It's (not) all about the numbers.

As we've been running around these last few weeks trying to get our number on the wait list as quickly as we can...I find myself having to daily (or hourly) remind myself that the number really doesn't matter at all. 

We might be 45, we might be 70...but no matter what number we are and how long we have to wait, it'll be the perfect number and the perfect amout of time that is needed for the little girl that God has planned to come home with us. 

I don't want to bring home a baby as soon as we possibly can.  I want our daughter and no matter how long it takes or how many bumps we hit along the way...it's all meant to happen so the timing is perfect to get that referral whom God knows will be the perfect addition to our family.

Sorry, this post is really just for myself...so I can come back and read it over and over and over again during the next year or so!

Modus Operandi

So everyone wants to know how this whole process works...well, here you go!  A nice, boring post that explains it all.  (Well, to the best of my knowledge at least...so this is probably all totally wrong.) ;)

• We sign with IAN adoption agency...which includes about 10 forms to complete and notarize.
• Begin the homestudy process.  Despite what you might think, this has surprisingly little to do with our home!  It's 3 meetings with a social worker who we get to sit and talk with for 6 hours or so and go over absolutely every aspect of our childhood, adolescence, marriage and parenting skills.  Sounds like a good time, huh??!  (Especially for someone who hates talking about themself as much as I do!)  Luckily our social worker is super nice and easy to talk to, so it hasn't been too bad.
• In the meantime, we begin gathering all the documents we need for our homestudy as well as for our dossier.  (Dossier is just a fancy French word that means "a bunch of papers" or something like that.  It's what will be translated and sent to Ethiopia.)  Along with the homestudy, the dossier also includes certified birth certificates, marriage certificates, notes from all of our doctors (kids included), criminal clearances, fingerprinting for FBI...the list goes on and on and on...and absolutely everything needs to be notarized.  (You can imagine how much fun it is to try to convince E-trade to notarize a bank letter for us!)
• Once the homestudy is approved by us and the agency, it's sent in for state approval.
• The BIG step then is submitting our dossier to the agency.  This is when we officially get a number on the waiting list!
• Our dossier is approved by the federal immigration agency and we are officially eligible to accept a referral of a child!
• Then we wait...and wait...and wait some more until we finally get The Call that we have a referral!  (including pics, history and medical reports)  They are telling be it'll be about a year, so I'm expecting 1.5-2 years.  We'll see who's right...I'm hoping they are!
• Once we accept our referral, we wait (about 2 months) for a court date.  We travel to Ethiopia and hopefully pass court the first go around, and our daughter will legally be our child!  We'll likely be there about a week and then somehow say goodbye and leave her at the orphanage. {tear} 
• I know you're going to ask...and the answer is I don't know what happens if we don't pass court the 1st time.  The requirement to travel for court is very new.  It actually starts in a couple weeks, so we'll see what happens as time goes on.  (Side note: The travel requirement came about because there were instances of people coming to pick up their kids and then changing their mind after meeting them and abandoning them again.  Adoption is irreversible in Ethiopia, so those kids can never be adopted again.  Nice, huh??)
• We go home and wait for her visa to be approved (about 2 months) then go back to Ethiopia and bring her home!

So there you go!  Keep in mind that International Adoption is always subject to change at a moments notice, so by the time we travel this will likely be completely different.  Okay, thanks for making it to the end.  I promise to make the rest of the posts much more entertaining.  ;)

The Nitty Gritty

I know everyone has tons of questions...so I thought it would be helpful to do a little Q&A here, since I don't have time to personally sit down with each one of you! 

So, pretend it's just you and me sitting down for a personal chat.  Here's some of the questions that you've asked...and a few you've been thinking, but haven't had the guts to ask.  ;)


Why Ethiopia, what happened to Russia?

As most of you know we started the adoption process in Russia a couple years ago.  Then God blessed us with Brogan and we put the adoption on hold.  Well, if you haven't seen the news lately...Russia isn't exactly the biggest fan of sending their kids to the US right now!  It's a horrible, horrible situation and my heart goes out to all those that are currently in limbo, not knowing when/if their kids are going to come home.

Honestly though, we came to that decision long before any of that came to light.  There are a bunch of reasons really, but it just came down to the fact that God wasn't leading us in that direction at this time.  We both knew it didn't feel right, but the big question then was...if not Russia, where?

Well, when you start going through the countries that do adoptions with the US...then narrow it down to ones that don't care that you already have 2 kids at home, allow young children to be adopted outside of the country, and don't have a 3-5 year wait list...you really aren't left with many options.

For us, it came down to Ethiopia or Columbia.  Steve wasn't crazy about spending 4-6 weeks in Columbia. (Yup, that's how long you have to stay!)  I tried to convince him that Lonely Planet says it's the place to go now...provided you stay within certain city limits...but he wasn't buying it.  In researching Columbia I was intrigued and thought it sounded like a possibility.  THEN, I started researching Ethiopia and watching adoption videos and reading blogs...and before I knew it I was sobbing.  My heart was so incredibly drawn to those kids and I knew there wasn't really an option anymore.  Then I just waited (not so patiently at times!) for Steve to come to the same conclusion.  I didn't let him know I'd already decided, since I wanted this to be something we both wanted independently as well as together.  It's so calming to know that God was leading us in the same direction.

Coincidentally, the day we turned in our application for Ethiopia is the same day all this stuff came out about Russian adoptions.  Thanks for the extra confirmation God!


What age are you adopting?

We'd like to maintain birth order, so we're requesting under 12 months.  She'll likely be closer to the 12 month end of the spectrum, but we'll see!


How does the whole process work?

This is a pretty big question, so I'll do a whole nother post just for this one.  It'll likely be 18-24 months before she comes home though.


How much does it cost? (Is that rude to ask?)

Um, no it's not rude.  (Well, I don't think so at least!)  I think it's important for anyone considering adoption to know that it is expensive...but totally doable.  My best guess estimate is $30-$35k.  (Note: this would have been about $6k less, but Ethiopia just started requiring parents to travel twice.)  The good news is that Uncle Sam should refund about $13k and Steve's job should refund about $4k.  So, it's not quite as bad as it sounds.  Most people pay a lot more than $13-$18k for their cars, so I think it's a pretty good deal for a kid!  (Okay, okay...just kidding.) 

Anyway, Steve and I are planning to put together a cookbook filled with all kinds of amazing family recipes to raise just a little bit of money.  So, get excited!  (You don't want to be the only person who doesn't have Steve's famous jambalaya recipe do you??!)


The elephant in the room - Are you concerned about raising an African child in a very white family?

I'd be lying if I said we weren't concerned at all.  From our perspective I don't think we have any issues at all with raising an African child as our own.  However, when I think about life from her perspective...that's when it gets a little hazy.  After all, we live in a very white state...and an even whiter city.  Will she feel out of place?  Will she resent us for taking her away from her home country?  Will she be accepted by her peers?  These are all questions that have gone through our minds. 

We went back and forth on whether or not to request siblings so that she would have another person to identify with in the family.  In the end, we decided to leave it up to God.  We're thinking we will say that we'd be willing to accept female infant twins, if they become available.  "But Kelly, you'd have to drive a minivan!"  *gasp*  Believe me, that is one of the first things that popped into my head when we started talking about siblings!  Realistically though, the chances of twins is sooo small, that if it does happen it's definitely God letting us know she needs an African sibling.  I would sacrifice my SUV...if that's what God really wanted.  {smile}

So, back to the original question.  I've already started trying to network with other local families that have/are adopting from Ethiopia as well.  Hopefully we can have a little group of African kids that can grow up together, become friends and be able to relate to each other.  Not to mention that she has some African cousins (from Liberia) here in Colorado!  No matter how much we try to prepare, I think it'll definitely be a "learn as we go" type of thing. Whatever the circumstances though, it's definitely better than her becoming one of the statistics mentioned in the previous post.


I've heard some pretty bad stories lately, are you concerned about ethics in the adoption process?

Definitely!  We really loved our old agency, but when we switched countries we also needed to switch agencies since they don't handle Ethiopian adoptions.  So, the research process started all over again.  There are sooo many agencies out there and sadly many of them have other things besides the best interest of the child in mind.  After much deliberation we decided to go with IAN.  They are a national not-for-profit agency who have gotten nothing but rave reviews (as far as I can tell).... and best of all, their headquarters is about 10 minutes from our house!

IAN works with one orphanage in Ethiopia called Sele Enat.  One of my main concerns was how the children came to be at the orphanage and ensuring that neither the agency or the orphanage go out "looking" for kids.  This does not seem to be the case at Sele Enat.  From what I've gathered in my research, Ethiopian parents or guardians go to their local ward and let them know they have a child they would like to give up for adoption.  After a couple court hearings, Sele Enat is contacted and they come to pick up the children.  They never have any contact with the birth families.

In addition, while we are in Ethiopia we will be able to visit the orphanage and care center various times.  We will also be able to visit with the birth parents, if they are alive and willing to speak with us.  (In Ethiopia, many orphans are not true orphans...their parents just can't take care of them and survive at the same time and unselfishly want a better life for their children.)  I can't even imagine what an amazing and heart wrenching meeting that will be...but one that is so important in ensuring the validity of our adoption.  Not to mention how much it will mean to our daughter to see that video when she is older!  So, I feel we're doing everything we can to ensure that our adoption will be an ethical one.



Well, that's all the questions I can think of to answer right now.  I'm happy to answer anything though, so don't be afraid to ask!!

Where?

In the country where our daughter will be born:

Over half of the population lives on $1/day. The average income is $100/year.

There are over 5 million orphans.

One in five children will not live to see their 5th birthday.

One in seven women die from pregnancy related complications.

The literacy rate for women is just 35%.

Almost 60% of women have been subjected to sexual violence.

One study states 85% of women believe their husbands have the right to beat them if they burn dinner, refuse sex or go out without their husband's permission.

72% of women are married by abduction.

Life expectancy is just over 55 year of age.

The cutest babies in the world are born. (Okay, I added that one...but it is true!)

.

.

.

.

.

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Those are just a few of the reasons we have decided to adopt from Ethiopia!

A Calling?

Adoption has been on my mind for a long, long time. I guess it started in high school when our youth group went on a mission trip to an orphanage in Guatemala. It was then my eyes and heart were open to the children all over the world who, through no fault of their own, were in need of a family to love them and to be loved by them.

I am so blessed to have a husband who also has a heart for adoption and we've talked about doing so since we first got married. So I've always hoped that it would be in our future at some point. But at the same time, I've always wondered if God was calling us to adopt...or if it was just something we wanted to do of our own accord. It wasn't until I read my devotional this morning that I realized without a doubt that it is a calling.

Isaiah 6:8 says, "I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?' Then Isaiah said, 'Here and I! Send me.' "

God didn't say to Isaiah, "I choose you, you're the one I want you to go." He doesn't call just a select few, He calls everyone! He doesn't force His will on us, He simply states what needs to be done and waits for us to answer His call.

So when He tells us to look after the orphans in James 1:27 (see the sidebar for the full verse), that is His calling to me. I know some of you are saying, "well, duh!", but I'd never really looked at it that way before! Does that mean that everyone should adopt? Absolutely not. I believe it does mean, as a Christian, you should answer that call in whatever way you can...whether it's by volunteering your time, giving to those less fortunate, making meals for a neighbor in need, etc. For us, it means adopting...simply because we want another child and there are kids all over the world without homes!

So, the burning question...where will we adopt from? Sorry, that will have to wait for another post! (I will say it's from somewhere we hadn't thought about before...)